Thread: Odd question perhaps, but could use some advice on women.

Hi everyone my first post so bear with me.

Some background, I am a 26 year old male, Swedish parents but grew up in S.A Johannesburg from7 years of age ( Sandton in case any other safas around ). Been living and working in lovely Rio De Janeiro since I got out of University. 2 years about. I speak portuguese fairly good and get along fine with the natives. Actually I really love the way of life here and cant even consider moving out. Coming from S.A I've never felt that Rio is a very dangerous place. Havent had anything unpleasant happen to me really except some obnoxius drunks in Lapa or Copa maybe. I call Prudente de morais home. But I got friends all over, my first true friend from outside of work is from Rocinha, and I have been at his family home, and partyd there quite a few times. He usually crashes with me from time to time, when surf is extra good

To my problem. About a year and a half ago I broke up with my girlfriend for a long time, S.A girl. A few months later I met a Brazilian girl and fell hard, she to. Shes a year younger than me Mulata and oh so beautifull with the best personality. I speak fairly good portuguese so communication is good. Anyway a few months into the relationship I sort of panicked... Feels bad talking about it but I basicly dumped her. I just saw marriage, kids and everything and felt I was to young. We come from different backgrounds, shes from Joao pessoa up north. She works in a restaurant 17:00 - 00:00 everyday. I know I hurt her bad when I split. I can honestly say that all the crap some people say about brazilian girls, well I didnt see any of it. She always treated me like the sun, I never felt she lied to me, she did not ax for anything I basicly had to force her to accept even small gifts. She did have an obnoxious ex who she was with for 3 years before, who I guess werent all that nice to her. He extended some threats but I shrugged it of and he did not seem to bother her all that much. I fixed her passport we went to Costa Rica on a vacation together.

Anyway I know I broke her heart. But I do love this girl and I know I did the wrong thing. What I wanna know is can I fix this? Are brazilian girls vindictive? I know some of her garotas wanna roast me on a stick... But when I called her up she just started crying and said she could never love anyone else... that shes just been trying to work hard everyday to not think about me. I felt like shit on legs... I really believe this is the one for me but I know I've sort of wrecked her trust in men. I did have a few flirts that I did not act on while we were together which she also found out. She didnt go ballistic did not shout. Did not walk out but I know she hurt real bad. She just cried and asked why, I had no answer I was totally happy with her. I guess when i got single I was sort of ego boosted by all the attention, Im gringo green eyes brown hair. Not like girls throw themselves at me, but I get alot of nrs and such. I guess due to my S.A background my skin is more brown than other caucasians and most people take me for brazilian.

I am sort of worried shes gonna burn me... but I am even more worried about not being with her... I love this girl. Late shall the sinner awake I guess.

According to her shes not been with anyone else, which I would like to believe, but hey I got no right to judge I walked out on her. I did see a rather romantic conversation with some american tourist on her facebook though which indicated they had met as more than friends, didnt ask about it though. The thing is I got 0 experience with brazilian girls. I have never even kissed another. While my colleagues go to centaurus I just go home and play playstation. I go to Lapa alot with Brazilian friends from surfing and dance with girls and meet at partys but they usually end up wanting more than amizade. But I dont have any amigas really. Atleast not near my age. I cant really ask my brazilian friends in real life either because they seem to know everything about girls and I do not want to come of as weird. I am good looking anywhere and try to be a nice guy but its hard to understand life sometimes. Can I salvage this? She basicly asked me to be honest with what I want with her, but I am afraid to be honest because what I want is for her to move in with me be my girlfriend again and just you know take care of her and hopefully shed do the same for me. I dont like the idea that she works 17:00-00:00 everyday because I work 9-17. I can support her without a doubt, and would be happy doing it to. Hell id probably marry her... But Im just a coward I guess. I wanna tell her that of all the women I have been with nobody has made me feel half as good as her. Shes a really modest person even though shes a 10 in every aspect. Its hard to believe she loves me the way she says because its crazy. I dont deserve that, I am just a guy you know and considering how I ended it before I was sort of flabbergasted at her reaction when I called, I expected anger but did not get any. She just cried and seemed happy and a little afraid. My expat friends just laugh about it so not getting much help there. They seem to think most Brasileiras just wanna have an easy life, and she sees me as an oppurtunity for that. Those that met her do say shes a good girl though.

Advice? I know wall of text sorry but I have to vent somewhere. Been feeling so screwed up in the head lately.

Hey, you are too young yet, living and learning.

Women are the same in everywhere. Brazilian women are like American, European and Asiatic women, understand?

About revenge, well, every women are very hard about it. Most of them are very vengeful in everywhere, in any part of the world.

When you fall in love again, please, treat her very well, as a woman, not as a stuff, and please BE FAITHFUL until the end!

Depending of you has done to her, she won´t come back to you anymore!

Please, take care with the ladies in everywhere, in any part of the world.

Good luck!

Yeah guess this is Fubar. I would like to think we could get around it but I dont wanna be guilt ridden in every minor disagreement. Thanks for reading all of it =)

Definently you are right women are women, I did not cheat on her, well texted some with a few others and facebook flirts. But did not act on it. But I think you are right, next time I will try to do the right thing every day and learn from this.